Palm Tree Adventures

Yeah, that's me in the photo. When my mistress wasn't looking, I leapt into the palm tree below our balcony after some birds. Those damn birds have been asking for it for months now. I took my shot. And then I got stuck in the tree. Yeah, didn't really think that far ahead. Look, she's out on the balcony, she must have heard my landing...damn, thought I was stealthier than that. Now she is calling my name, like I don't know who I am. Is she that forgetful? Dundee! Dundee! Dundee? Blah blah blah. Now she's gone back in. I can just settle in here for awhile and keep the birds out of the tree by my very presence.
     I'm a little hungry. But I'm fiercely defending this palm tree. I'm also a little thirsty. Why did I jump down here again? Oh look, she's back. Waving her arms at me to jump into them. Sure lady. I've seen you drive. I think I'll go over here and meow at the other side of the palm tree. Hmm...no one down in those courtyards. Where did that strange he/she go? I don't know if I want to stay up here. And now my mistress has left again. She took some photos and then ran back upstairs.
     I wish I had my litterbox. I don't really want to shit in the tree. I might walk on it. But I need to shit. Maybe I can command her to bring my litter box up here. Here she comes with a floor mop, waving it in the tree. Like that's going to help. Let me check it out - yeah...try again, mistress.
     She left again. I'm going to climb around and check out this tree. She's taking photos of me now from the stairwell. I'm here to amuse...just be sure to cut me in if she sells my photo. And she's back. I'm hungry. I think I'll meow a bit to get her stirred up. Ha ha, that did it. Now she's back with a step stool. She can nearly reach me - with a ten foot pole...who is that man she is talking to? He's all dressed up like he doesn't belong - must be a property agent. He told her I'll come down eventually. Yeah, sure bud. I'm over it. Get me the hell down now.
     And now she is waving a vacuum cleaner pipe in the tree - this is a bit scary. I think I might try and jump down. Let me poke my head out through these palm fronds - oh look, there she is again. I can almost jump down on top of her head. It is a big head after all...but maybe I can jump down onto the fence. I think I'll think about it a bit longer and settle down here in the palm fronds.
     More than an hour has passed and I'm no closer to getting down from this palm tree. My mistress has given up it seems. She is pacing back and forth calling out for me, and I can't seem to tell her what I need to get down is an elevator. I don't want to jump! Damn, I'm hungry, thirsty and I need my litter box! Okay...here I go, I am going to try and jump down to the fence if she stands under me to catch me if I fall. Aaaaaannnnnnndddd....we're down. That was graceful...now bring me to my room...