So I was cornering this big juicy spider last night and I guess my foot slipped and I stepped on my mistress and woke her up. She was a bit disgruntled, but got up out of my way so I could get closer to said spider. I think she thought it was just another moth...it wasn't. It was THIS guy. She kinda freaked out when she turned the light on...she paced the apartment's tiny rooms panting and mumbling oh my fucking god oh my fucking god oh my fucking god. She finally shut up but then confined me to the bathroom - what a damn insult! And what about my bloody spider??? I was not very happy to say the least. I heard some hissing, I assume it was that can she used in Alice Springs to kill all those pesky ants that did not interest me in the least - but what was she doing to my spider?? Dammit, I need to get out there!
Before long I heard her approach the door, mumbling once again - what is up with her? Then she bustled into the bathroom and FLUSHED MY SPIDER DOWN THE BLOODY TOILET!!! I tried to go after it, but it somehow looked less appealing, covered in toxic chemicals, curled up like the coward he is. Take that spider...evicted.
Tonight we saw this one outside and now she has closed all the doors and pulled down the blinds. What am I living with? I'm surrounded by cowards. I am going to have to get after that fella tomorrow, if she ever opens the door again...
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